Killing Kittens's definitions

dicksterity

1. The possession of an extremely versatile penis.

2. The ability to give yourself a blowjob.

1. His dicksterity enabled him to please any woman.

2. His dicksterity enabled him to please himself.

by Killing Kittens August 3, 2005

soulmate

See instead Mr./Ms. Right .

I once met my soulmate. She was having dinner with an elf, a leprechaun, and a troll.

by Killing Kittens April 11, 2005

I love you

If spoken by a woman: "I Love the way I feel when you're paying attention to me."

If spoken by a man: "Let's have sex."

The only person who ever loved you was your mother.

by Killing Kittens April 28, 2005

clothes

The most effective form of contraception.

Gavin dry-humped Roberta on the bus. Since they both wore clothes, copulation was avoided.

by Killing Kittens November 4, 2006

tattoo

Dermatological graffiti.

Facial tattoos always work out REALLY well.

by Killing Kittens November 29, 2006

Relativism

Intellectual laziness.

Everything is relative. This means that all belief systems are equally true, except for Christianity and anything remotely pro-western or pro-American.

Also, since relativism holds that there is no center of truth, it is a perfectly valid opinion to say that "Plan 9 From Outer Space" is a better movie than "Citizen Kane", because my opinion is just as valid as yours, even when I don't bother to back it up.

by Killing Kittens December 7, 2006

fiction

Disguised autobiography.

All fiction is at least partially autobiographical, and all autobiography is at least partially fiction.

by Killing Kittens June 29, 2007