Josh Turnbull's definitions

Eznesticism

Noun: (Ezz-nest-y-ciz-m)
A complicated game that can be randomly started at any one time by any one person resulting in a furious battle of looking stupid. The aim of the game is to stand behind the most competing people for as long as possible. This can turn brutal as there are no rules primarily because I cannot be arsed to think of any.

I am the champion of Eznesticism!
I'm ready to eznesticise.

by Josh Turnbull May 8, 2005

Ifjillication

Noun derived from verb: (Iff-Jyll-Ick-Ay-shun). This word has two completely different meanings and as such should be used with extreme caution.
1. The act of dying slowly
2. A way of cooking red meats invented by the welsh.

1. Oh dear, i seem to be in the process of ifjillication, I'm afraid I'll have to skip lunch.
2. Wow, that lamb was good. How did you cook it, ifjillication?

by Josh Turnbull May 8, 2005

Man Motor

That little part of your brain that will hear or think of something hilarious but inappropriate, which will act as its ignition. It is then powered by your attempts to ignore it, and will accelerate, never reaching a terminal speed and only stopping when you blurt out whatever thought started it at the worst possible moment. It is related - but not linked to - that part of your brain that inexorably broadcasts horrific images to the rest of your brain at inconvenient times, for example: images of corpses while eating, images of your mum during sex etc.

Called 'man motor' because there is no evidence of this phenomenon ever occurring in females.

Your idiot thoughts during a funeral: Hey, that dude who was killed in a horrific car accident at the age of 25's wife's face kinda looks like a pan-fried vagina.

Man motor: *click! whirr...* Yep, pan-fried vagina. Probably should tell someone that.

That one part of your brain responsible for - and completely incapable of - inhibition: No, that's horrible.

Man Motor: *Whirrrrrrrrrrrr...* Nah, go on, it'll be funny. You love causing egregious grief.

Inhibition: No, Man Motor, no.

Man Motor *WHHIIRRRRRRRR...* Come on, you don't know how people will react, they might like it.

Inhibition: Please stop trying to-

Man Motor: *WWWHHHHHIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRR...* PAN-FRIED VAGINA PAN-FRIED VAGINA PAN-FRIED VAGINA

You: HEY, DEAD MAN'S WIFE, YOU LOOK LIKE A PAN-FRIED VAGINA!

Everyone: *mortified gasps*

You, at the behest of your Man Motor: So... Anyone wanna fuck?

by Josh Turnbull June 8, 2010

Rage of Fury

noun (Rayj-ohv-fyur-ie): Commonly preceeded by 'i am going to jump out of the window in a'. Usually used in a moment of extreme anger or in a similar context.

I am now going to jump out of the window in a fury rage

(french literal translation) I am now going to of the window in a fury rage.

by Josh Turnbull July 10, 2005

Somerset

noun (Sum-ehr-seht): The best county in England and the origin of cider and the word grrt (meaning great or large). Never should the word be used to describe cock, seeing as the people are the possibly the best people on the planet, bar Jamaicans.

Going to Somerset? They do good home-brewed cider, if that tempts you?

by Josh Turnbull July 6, 2005

Confusosity

noun (Cohn-fyouss-oss-it-ie): the form of being confused. When over done, can result in mild brain explosions, meaning that a section of knowledge and memory will be lost forever.

Shit! Stop John from trying to come up with a way that suggests that French might be straight! He's going into confusosity!

by Josh Turnbull May 17, 2005

Abating

(Uh-bate-ihyng): Word randomly yelled in the middle of a conversation that is steeping towards boring, or in moments of awkard silence just to confuse non-abatingers and start a whole better conversation, usually involving reminiscing.

Anna: Yes I've had many periods... You know they say that period pains hurt more than getting kicked in the nuts.
Jim:...
Anna:...
Jim:......ABATING!!!!!
Anna:...What?

by Josh Turnbull July 10, 2005