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Josh Turnbull's definitions

Eznesticism

Noun: (Ezz-nest-y-ciz-m)
A complicated game that can be randomly started at any one time by any one person resulting in a furious battle of looking stupid. The aim of the game is to stand behind the most competing people for as long as possible. This can turn brutal as there are no rules primarily because I cannot be arsed to think of any.
I am the champion of Eznesticism!
I'm ready to eznesticise.
by Josh Turnbull May 8, 2005
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when

(Wehn):
1) Question preceeding referring to time.
2) Expressed by classy people as an alternative to 'stop', particularly when involving amounts of drink or food.
1) John: I resolved to be less of a tit.
Amazing guy: When are you going to start?
John: Fuck do I know
2) Mindy: How many sugars?
Gremlin: I don't know
Mindy: Then you better say when...
by Josh Turnbull July 10, 2005
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Ifjillication

Noun derived from verb: (Iff-Jyll-Ick-Ay-shun). This word has two completely different meanings and as such should be used with extreme caution.
1. The act of dying slowly
2. A way of cooking red meats invented by the welsh.
1. Oh dear, i seem to be in the process of ifjillication, I'm afraid I'll have to skip lunch.
2. Wow, that lamb was good. How did you cook it, ifjillication?
by Josh Turnbull May 8, 2005
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Shpongle

noun (shpohung-ul) Possibly the best Psytrance/Goa band ever. They consist of two members: Raja Ram and Simon Posford. They are heavily influenced by world music, which Raja Ram is in charge of bringing, often recording flute lines etc and then having them edited and added to by Posford's technical genius.
Posford by himself is simply known as Hallucinagen, which is good, but not nearly as well done as Shpongle.

Please don't use the word in a obscene way.
The band have three albums, and have announced that that is all from them. Of the three albums (Are you Shpongled?, Tales of the Inexpressible and Nothing Lasts... But Nothing is Lost), their last is said to be the pinnacle of trance amazingness. It sounds more like one huge anthem rather than an album, with only two (apparently) external samples, proving that they really do have talent.
Ted: You wanna go see Shpongle tonight?
Bill: No, sorry man, I've got an assignment to be doing.
Ted: Fair enough. See you tomorrow.
Bill: Aww, fuck it, I'll come.
Ted: Excellent. Bring beer.
Bill: I thought you had loads.
Ted: I do, but everyone's bringing some.
Bill: Oh... wicked. ...Carling ok?
Ted: NOOOOOOO!!!
by Josh Turnbull September 25, 2006
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Zombies

Noun: (Zohm-bees)
Commonly confused as brain suckers. These originated from the religion of Voodoo. They are the dead brought back to life only in the body, while the soul is in torment. The only reason they walk the earth is to bite the living, who, once bitten also become a zombie. They are usually formed from a curse on a living person, who once dead will become one.
Zombies? This is one hell of a bad trip...
Zombie: Can I eat your spleen
Living guy: No, fuck off
Zombie: Oh... sorry.
by Josh Turnbull June 13, 2005
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Abating

(Uh-bate-ihyng): Word randomly yelled in the middle of a conversation that is steeping towards boring, or in moments of awkard silence just to confuse non-abatingers and start a whole better conversation, usually involving reminiscing.
Anna: Yes I've had many periods... You know they say that period pains hurt more than getting kicked in the nuts.
Jim:...
Anna:...
Jim:......ABATING!!!!!
Anna:...What?
by Josh Turnbull July 10, 2005
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Man Motor

That little part of your brain that will hear or think of something hilarious but inappropriate, which will act as its ignition. It is then powered by your attempts to ignore it, and will accelerate, never reaching a terminal speed and only stopping when you blurt out whatever thought started it at the worst possible moment. It is related - but not linked to - that part of your brain that inexorably broadcasts horrific images to the rest of your brain at inconvenient times, for example: images of corpses while eating, images of your mum during sex etc.

Called 'man motor' because there is no evidence of this phenomenon ever occurring in females.
Your idiot thoughts during a funeral: Hey, that dude who was killed in a horrific car accident at the age of 25's wife's face kinda looks like a pan-fried vagina.

Man motor: *click! whirr...* Yep, pan-fried vagina. Probably should tell someone that.

That one part of your brain responsible for - and completely incapable of - inhibition: No, that's horrible.

Man Motor: *Whirrrrrrrrrrrr...* Nah, go on, it'll be funny. You love causing egregious grief.

Inhibition: No, Man Motor, no.

Man Motor *WHHIIRRRRRRRR...* Come on, you don't know how people will react, they might like it.

Inhibition: Please stop trying to-

Man Motor: *WWWHHHHHIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRR...* PAN-FRIED VAGINA PAN-FRIED VAGINA PAN-FRIED VAGINA

You: HEY, DEAD MAN'S WIFE, YOU LOOK LIKE A PAN-FRIED VAGINA!

Everyone: *mortified gasps*

You, at the behest of your Man Motor: So... Anyone wanna fuck?
by Josh Turnbull June 8, 2010
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