Jeffrey Douglas's definitions

bottle opener

The key to a cold, refreshing and delicious paradise.
The worst thing to forget when going camping.

One lads night out in a tent...
Jake: "Finally, now where's that bottle opener!?"
Bill: "<Rummage> OH SHIT!"
Jake: "You wonky bollocks bastard!"

by Jeffrey Douglas December 6, 2006

teasing

the act of persecution for minors.

Teacher: "Oh, dear, John! John, JOHN! Stop teasing harry because he is fat!"

by Jeffrey Douglas November 19, 2006

he-bitch-man-slap

One of the choice weapons in any reputable pimp's arsenal. Not quite as good as a pimp slap, as the he-bitch-man-slap can only be used to pimps to male gigolos. However any such threat of the he-bitch-man-slap should be backed up by a wavering of the pimp hand and should make the bitch cower like jelly being eaten by a wobbly man from jim davidson's generation game.

In short: Weapon for controlling He-bitches

"Don't make me he-bitch-man-slap you man!"

by Jeffrey Douglas August 30, 2006

Clumsy

Adj. Poorly co-ordinated. Bumbling ninny.

Blind People

Jack: "Pass the that plate please."
CRASH
Jack: "Oh you clumsy blind twat!"

by Jeffrey Douglas November 5, 2006

period pals

Lesbians.

Coming from the theory that women who live together will eventually come into a menstrual harmony and go through their cycle at the same time.

Sam: "Them two behind the bar! They've been together years now. Bloody period pals, i'm tellin' ya!"

by Jeffrey Douglas February 7, 2007

Do a dad

Doing a dad is an act that is hilarious to those all around you but their laughter only drives you into the downward spiral known as doing a dad. Doing a dad shoots your emotive side into overdrive warp speed. It can start off small, but the tears keep coming until all that is left of someone doing a dad is a blithering mound of tears sniffles and soiled handkerchiefs. All it takes is a few jokes at the person's expense like prodding their man-breasts and saying "Gor blimey, they're like titties them, tubbs", then the water works come on much to the amusement of the audience.

The phrase comes from a real person, with real emotional displays, who regulary did a dad. Do a dad is now a common phrase all over the world, usually preceeded by don't.

Chris: "Waddle waddle! Ha! Bill, you walk like a penguin!"
Bill: "MMnnn. Boo hoo! <cry cry cry>"
Tom: "Oh god, don't cry about it!"
Chris: "Oh! C'mon don't do a dad."

by Jeffrey Douglas September 3, 2006

tip-off

A tip off is a handy piece of information given by one to another. Tip-offs have been used in history (see the examples).

Regular tip-off;
"Look out Bill, he's a Queer."

Historical tip-off;
"Look, here, Hitler has said Peace in our time!"
"Nah, bollocks nev, he's a Queer."

by Jeffrey Douglas November 23, 2006