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Jeffrey Douglas's definitions

big hit

A powerful awesome tackle in rugby that will seriously hurt your opponent and make him think twice before trying to run past you with the ball again!
Iain Roberts: "And it's Lottie Tuqiri breaking down the right, and ... ouch.... ooh... a BIG HIT from Sean Lamont! He won't be getting up from that. Look at that dent in the turf now! Oh, what a mess."
by Jeffrey Douglas November 25, 2006
mugGet the big hitmug.

empirical Formula

empirical Formula is a hip hop chemistry term used by the real bad boys of chemistry. It is a formula that shows the simplest ratio of the compound or formula in question. empirical Formula has been used by such bad boys such as Alec Baldwin and jane Seymour-Butts to strip down a formula better than slim fast.
Miss Kelvin: "The empirical formula is very important to chemistry, life and your happiness."
Jennings: "Yes miss, indeed one needs the empirical formula to just last a day in the ghetto"
by Jeffrey Douglas September 8, 2006
mugGet the empirical Formulamug.

lads night

An event strictly involving only males. Activities on a lads night out include; drinking (alcohol), gambling, the muffin game and many many more.

The lads night had its origins (like fireworks) in the middle east, where Ghengis Khan would ride with his clan to a neighbouring tribe and destroy them. This version of a lads night did not catch on in europe.

The breakthrough in europe for the lads night came with Schiller (Goethe's best friend) in the 18th Century. He called it the gentleman's petit renaissance. These nights generally involved silhouette making and shirades.

At around the same time in the emerging states of america, the english were enjoying lads nights. The americans did not appreciate these evenings of drunken revelry, and declared war. This ended (temporarily) the lads night in the Americas.

Centuries later, the weight of being without a lads night society took its toll. America's economy crashed and the country went into a depression sending shockwaves throughout the world. President Hoover saw the mistake and called upon a lads night revival, giving tax breaks to those who threw the best poker nights and owned the best laser challenge sets.

In the present day, the lads night out has lost it's way slightly. It is no longer the driving political power it once was. Taken over by the proles and the masses it has fallen into disrepute. More and more lads nights end in injury and arrests.

The future of the lads night is then unclear. Perhaps it will undergo a resurgance in popularity, but it faces stiff competition from chick flicks and aids.
Typical 'lads night' venues

The house. (for poor folk)
The dog track. (for rich folk)
The country retreat. (for cottagers)

Stock phrases for a lads night (and some to avoid!)

DO SAY : - -
"MORE BEER!"
"Women are pure evil."
"That Mel Gibson really gets on my titties"

DO NOT SAY!: - -
"Oh no, i'm driving"
"Can't we just see our girlfriend/wife/sibling?& quot;
"Look guys, i brought legally blonde! "

A Lads night is just what i need
by Jeffrey Douglas February 3, 2007
mugGet the lads nightmug.

wikipedia battle

When history coursework simply isn't fun enough! Or perhaps when one is trying to research a very minor topic that wikipedia cannot offer, one might slip into a wikipedia battle with an unsuspecting Mick Hucknall look-a-like next to you!

A wikipedia battle, also known as a random article battle, makes full use of that magic button, RANDOM ARTICLE. The object is to get better pages than your filthy mancunian red-headed friend or colleague. Normally it is easy to spot who wins, for example X-men would beat Conneticut (naturally). However, if it is to close to call, for example Godzilla and Spiderman, one would call for an independant adjudicator to decide. If that person is also gay and sitting on that prosthetic penis of a fence, then the scores remain as they were entering the round. Most matches are first to 12.

In the history of the wikipedia battle, there have been many engagements many ending in bloodshed. One match even went to 50 much to the annoyance of both participants.
Dave: Hey, fancy a wikipedia battle?
Mick Hucknall: Yea, i am ginger!
Dave:Go!
Mick Hucknall: Aha! Simply Red! What have you got, cocknose?
Dave: Super ameobas.
Mick Hucknall: Pfft. You win.
by Jeffrey Douglas September 2, 2006
mugGet the wikipedia battlemug.

Clumsy

Adj. Poorly co-ordinated. Bumbling ninny.
Blind People

Jack: "Pass the that plate please."
CRASH
Jack: "Oh you clumsy blind twat!"
by Jeffrey Douglas November 5, 2006
mugGet the Clumsymug.

Unicycle Wheelchair

Arguably one of the better NASA fields of expertise. When the space race was on and it was Uncle Sam vs U.S.S.R, Astronaut vs Cosmonaut and Cats vs Dogs, the need for unicycle wheelchairs became apparant, and Mr. Nasa was once quoted saying, after they had been developed, "i don't know how we ever got by without them"

The Unicycle wheelchair was brought into the commercial sector at the very second the bee gees popularised close harmonic singing in tight trousers. Although, like toasters, expensive at first, the next christmas every household had one. The ratio in Belgium at the time of Michael Moore's conception was 12 unicycle wheelchairs to every 5 people with cheshire cats.

Through these developing years, people began to tamper with NASA's creation. Gentleman would "PIMP" or "ICE" their "RIDES" by adding "HARDCORE" propulsion systems and a "SICK" paint job. Ladies were not so intent on being the flyest mutha so were content with fluffy dice and a sombrero.

Today they are popular still, especially around buckingham palace.
"Unicycle Wheelchairs are essential for respiration"

"Is it a bird?"
"Is it a plane?"
"No, by Jove, its a unicycle wheelchair"
by Jeffrey Douglas August 12, 2006
mugGet the Unicycle Wheelchairmug.

Gay as a Dutch Window

To be very very gay, homosexual or shirtlifting. to define somebody as gay as a dutch window, the recipient of such horrific abuse, must have done something very poorly, acted in a queer fashion or displayed his effeminate side to a large degree.
Tipex is Gay as a Dutch Window as it smells and comes....in small bottles
by Jeffrey Douglas September 10, 2006
mugGet the Gay as a Dutch Windowmug.

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