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Jeffrey Douglas's definitions

Clumsy

Adj. Poorly co-ordinated. Bumbling ninny.
Blind People

Jack: "Pass the that plate please."
CRASH
Jack: "Oh you clumsy blind twat!"
by Jeffrey Douglas November 5, 2006
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wikipedia battle

When history coursework simply isn't fun enough! Or perhaps when one is trying to research a very minor topic that wikipedia cannot offer, one might slip into a wikipedia battle with an unsuspecting Mick Hucknall look-a-like next to you!

A wikipedia battle, also known as a random article battle, makes full use of that magic button, RANDOM ARTICLE. The object is to get better pages than your filthy mancunian red-headed friend or colleague. Normally it is easy to spot who wins, for example X-men would beat Conneticut (naturally). However, if it is to close to call, for example Godzilla and Spiderman, one would call for an independant adjudicator to decide. If that person is also gay and sitting on that prosthetic penis of a fence, then the scores remain as they were entering the round. Most matches are first to 12.

In the history of the wikipedia battle, there have been many engagements many ending in bloodshed. One match even went to 50 much to the annoyance of both participants.
Dave: Hey, fancy a wikipedia battle?
Mick Hucknall: Yea, i am ginger!
Dave:Go!
Mick Hucknall: Aha! Simply Red! What have you got, cocknose?
Dave: Super ameobas.
Mick Hucknall: Pfft. You win.
by Jeffrey Douglas September 2, 2006
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blustery

Windy. So windy in fact, that many hazards arise in 'blustery' conditions. Such hazards include windswept appearances, missing pieces of clothes from the washing lines and cold ears.
Used solely in the north so hardened grizzly northerners can talk about their constant struggle against the evils of blustery days.
A day in the north was very windy,.....
John: "By heck, it in't half blustery out there'
Harry: "Aye, blowin' a bastardin' gale"
by Jeffrey Douglas November 5, 2006
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he-bitch-man-slap

One of the choice weapons in any reputable pimp's arsenal. Not quite as good as a pimp slap, as the he-bitch-man-slap can only be used to pimps to male gigolos. However any such threat of the he-bitch-man-slap should be backed up by a wavering of the pimp hand and should make the bitch cower like jelly being eaten by a wobbly man from jim davidson's generation game.

In short: Weapon for controlling He-bitches
"Don't make me he-bitch-man-slap you man!"
by Jeffrey Douglas August 30, 2006
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teasing

Teacher: "Oh, dear, John! John, JOHN! Stop teasing harry because he is fat!"
by Jeffrey Douglas November 19, 2006
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bottle opener

The key to a cold, refreshing and delicious paradise.
The worst thing to forget when going camping.
One lads night out in a tent...
Jake: "Finally, now where's that bottle opener!?"
Bill: "<Rummage> OH SHIT!"
Jake: "You wonky bollocks bastard!"
by Jeffrey Douglas December 6, 2006
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daft bint

Naive female, often perceived as stupid. One who would buy Chantelle's biography and label it a "good read".
Sarah: "That iraq place must be really hot!"
Dave: "Why so?"
Sarah: "Well, look at these pictures! It is so hot there these cars just catch on fire!"
Dave: "You daft bint. Iron my shirt, wench!"
by Jeffrey Douglas November 5, 2006
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