Intelligence001's definitions

Red Bull

A drink that does nothing the commercials say.

Red Bull (doesn't) give you wiiiings!

by Intelligence001 July 18, 2016

First Law of Holes

"If you find yourself in a hole, your first course of action should be to stop digging." If you find yourself in a bad situation, stop doing something that is actively making it worse.

Dylan got himself into trouble with the cops. He didn't remember the first law of holes and started fighting with them.

by Intelligence001 July 23, 2019

homophobe

A person who lives in constant fear that gay men will treat them the way they treat women, in addition to being in constant dread that lesbians treat women better than they do.

Tattoo shop customer: I'd like a tattoo of the bible verse that forbids homosexuality.
Tattoo artist: Sorry, we don't service the common homophobe here. We're going to have to ask you to leave and never come onto this street again.

by Intelligence001 August 4, 2016

play stupid games, win stupid prizes

A warning that dictates that intentionally doing something agreed to be foolish or stupid will only result in negative consequences for the person doing the idiotic thing.

Jack apparently looked down the barrel of his pistol to see why it wasn't firing. It seems he didn't remember the maxim of "play stupid games, win stupid prizes" and blew his brains out on accident.

by Intelligence001 March 25, 2022

rock salt

What to load into a shotgun if you don't want to kill someone, but you still want it to hurt.

John, remember that you only need to load the gun with rock salt if you want to hurt them, not kill them.

by Intelligence001 March 31, 2021

Shelob

A beast from the Lord of the Rings trilogy by J.R.R. Tolkien. She is most well known for heavily resembling a monstrous spider, albeit with a wasp stinger and a gaping mouth, despite real world spiders having a liquid diet. She appeared in The Two Towers, but the film places her in Return of the King.

"Most like a spider she was, but huger than the great hunting beasts, and more terrible than they because of the evil purpose in her remorseless eyes. Great horns she had, and behind her short stalk-like neck was her huge swollen body, a vast bloated bag, swaying and sagging beneath her legs; its great bulk was black, blotched with livid marks, but the belly underneath was pale and luminous and gave forth a stench. Her legs were bent, with great knobbed joints high above her back, and hairs that stuck out like steel spines, and at each leg's end there was a claw." -Description of Shelob from The Two Towers

by Intelligence001 January 8, 2017

Bread

Raw toast.

put the bread in the toaster

by Intelligence001 July 16, 2016