Eric Kazinsky's definitions

Cough Syrup

If a man is getting deepthroated and he does not let the headgiver know when he is about to cum and, thereby spontaneously combusts a load of semen into the back of her throat so that she gags and sometimes asphyxiates herself, he is said to have "given her the cough syrup" or "a taste of her own medicine"

John was an agog tennis player. After he lost a painful match to a handicapped black guy he went home to his normally fawning wife. She was upset that he hadn't won his match so she wasn't willing to chug his cum conduit. Suddenly he forced her head down and made sure it went all the way down her throat, then he gave her the cough syrup, she was taken in an ambulance to the ER, and she died the next day due to internal bleeding.

by Eric Kazinsky November 23, 2005

Monsters Theory

Monsters Theory is the now-mainstream belief that very large breasts on young, lean women is the single most attractive look a woman can have, despite it having a relatively limited genetic basis (as studies of female siblings have shown) There is no established explanation for how women with 25-30% body fat and large breasts have their figures but luck seems to play the biggest role, since their looks and their breasts both are not an accurate reflection of their parents. The theory that attractive parents produce attractive children has become eroded due to monsters theory. Monsters theory states that genetics play some role, but far less than expected and otherwise ugly, fat parents with not particularly good genes can unleash bombshells on the world.

Example: Guy 1: Did you see that girl at the gym? Man, those were huge!
Guy 2: Monsters Theory in action. Let the monsters do the talkin.’
Guy 3: You scared bro?

by Eric Kazinsky November 3, 2015

Ding Dong Ditch

When you stick your thick cock into a woman's pussy and run away without cumming, as if to say gotcha! Alternatively, it can mean simply having sex with a woman once and disappearing into the mist. The least popular use of the term is when you cut a hole in the condom and blast away never to return.

Guy 1: Did you hear that girl's boyfriend got her a dick in a box for Christmas?
Guy 2: Ding Dong Ditch is what I'd give her.
Guy 1: Ding Dong Ditch the bitch.

by Eric Kazinsky May 15, 2016

Power Struggle Theory

Power Struggle Theory is the idea that a weakling is going to be most sensitive to a power struggle. This is akin to when a small dog barks wildly. This theory describes the behavior of young women who hunt for attention and enjoy keeping men at their fingertips. The vast majority of young women on sites such as Tinder and Facebook love to be in control of interactions with men and get off on the feeling of power they hold over them. Relinquishing such power is not in the interests of such a weakling, as then men would gain the upper hand in all areas. Such women usually have multiple “safe” beta males orbiting them. The woman gets a different type of stimulation and pleasure from each of the orbiters; also known as juggle play. A confident man does not need to engage in power struggles because he feels good about himself on his own. Most attractive young women realize the gig is up once the power struggle ends. They like to extend the struggle as long as possible to maintain their power and because of their fear a man will realize she brings less character to the table than he thought.

Guy 1: Why does she reply to only 30% of my messages? I thought women loved to get attention.
Guy 2: Not necessarily. Why do you think many women interpret your interest in them as weakness?
Guy: I don’t know. They don’t like muff munchers?
Guy 2: Power Struggle Theory in practice.

by Eric Kazinsky January 13, 2016

Heat Check

A heat check is when you do something to check to see how hot you are. In basketball, this is done by taking a crazy shot to see if you are so hot, you can even make ridiculous shots. It is the most direct, non-subtle attempt to score with no strategy at all. In pursuing women, a heat check is a simple, direct statement made to a woman to see if she will be interested. A man is “just checking” to see if it works without needing more clever methods. The best heat checks involve minimal risk, because they are harmlessly “just checking” and not a full-blown attempt.

Guy 1: Why did you invite that girl to the bar with you so directly? Don’t you think it had zero chance of working?
Guy 2: Just a heat check. As long it doesn’t damage my chances at all with her in the future, it just checks to see if she might say yes to pure directness.

by Eric Kazinsky May 17, 2016

burden of proof

Your responsibility to prove or provide evidence for a claim you have made, without being allowed to change the subject or avoid backing up the claim. The sister term to a burden of proof is a red herring (a logical fallacy tantamount to derailing). When someone has the burden of proof and doesn't want to back up their statements, they will usually either commit a blatant red herring and try to sidetrack the conversation or try to shift the burden of proof onto the other person. Since few people can clearly list their beliefs and evidence about global warming, economic models and policies, and cause-and-effect social claims ("legalizing marijuana will make everyone into a drug addict!"), this will remain a major problem for many years to come.

Guy 1: There is indisputable proof that God exists. Guy 2: May I see this proof? Guy 1: No. It is your job to prove that God does not exist. Guy 2: I do not have the burden of proof here. I claimed nothing.

Guy 1: Donald Sterling is a terrible person. He should lose all of his money, his job, and never be seen in the public eye again. Guy 2: Can you defend the claim that he's a terrible person? Guy 1: I know him well, on the basis of hearing a phone conversation of his. All people like him are the same. They are racists and they need to go down! Guy 2: Slow down there. You have a burden of proof to prove that 1) he's a terrible person. 2) you can judge someone enough based on a brief phone call to know they're a terrible person 3) all such people need to go down (whatever that means). Guy 1: I'm not going to discuss this! He's a racist and that's it! Guy 2: Please be a mature adult and respect that to continue this dispute, you must address your own burden of proof.

by Eric Kazinsky May 31, 2014

Spirespotter

Describes someone who holds a cock/spire upright. The reason the word spotter is used is because, just like in benchpressing, the holding/spotting is done by a third party representative. Spirespotting is most common before the spicy bologna is inserted into the vagina (or rectum, for you cumtheca spirespotters out there) during intercourse. In pornography, the most common case of this is when, during a male-female-female scene, girl #1 is about to get her peach cobbler rived, so girl #2 grips the hedgehog and guides it into girl #1's pudendal crawlway.

The coati Ben Coates was robbing a liquor store when he felt something from below the waist. He recognized it as a hand. He thought to himself, "What kind of person would give my johnson such a firm skyward grip? Oh yeah, a spirespotter."

by Eric Kazinsky January 27, 2007