Eric Kazinsky's definitions

Death Metal

Death metal is a subgenre of heavy metal generally involving low tuned guitars played with tremolo picking and many solos, double kick or blast beat drumming techniques, minor keys or atonality, and rapid time signature changes, chromatic chord progressions, and intricate song-writing. Death metal is the most underrated and underappreciated genre in music, with many of the most famous bands full of world class musicians that taught at the most prestigious music schools in the world. The best aspects of every genre of music (new wave of British heavy metal, classical musical, thrash metal, grindcore, black metal and jazz) can be found in death metal albums articulated in a more intelligent and enjoyable manner than in the aforementioned genres. Examples are Atheist's take on jazz, Arghoslent's NWOBHM riffs, Necrophagist's Beethoven-influenced riffs, and Appalling Spawn's grindcore elements. Death metal produces the most thought-provoking and intelligent lyrics of any genre as referenced below.

Guy 1: Why do you think death metal appeals almost exclusively to very intelligent people?
Guy 2: As illuminated in the documentary The Boy With the Incredible Brain, many very high IQ people think in terms of shapes and music that forms shapes. It is not hard to understand why the ebb and flow of death metal riffs appeal almost exclusively to very intelligent people who sense and recognize the shape and contours of the very intricate and highly educated music that is death metal.

Guy 1: What are some death metal songs which shed light not only on natural aspects of the human condition, but more generally on important societal problems directly connected to people's thinking?
Guy 2: Enthralled in Essence (Atheist), Slaughter of Innocence, Demise of the Clone (Suffocation), Mirrors of Reason (Monstrosity), Omnipresent Perception (Beyond Creation), Dethrone the Hypocrites (Anata), Closeminded Failure (Solstice), The Truth About Lies (Krabathor), Lack of Comprehension (Death), Scavenger of Human Sorrow (Death), The Sadistic Motives Behind Bereavement Letters (Arsis) and Shallow Disbelief (Experiment Fear) all have very intelligent messages meeting your requirements.

by Eric Kazinsky February 12, 2015

Ding Dong Ditch

When you stick your thick cock into a woman's pussy and run away without cumming, as if to say gotcha! Alternatively, it can mean simply having sex with a woman once and disappearing into the mist. The least popular use of the term is when you cut a hole in the condom and blast away never to return.

Guy 1: Did you hear that girl's boyfriend got her a dick in a box for Christmas?
Guy 2: Ding Dong Ditch is what I'd give her.
Guy 1: Ding Dong Ditch the bitch.

by Eric Kazinsky May 15, 2016

Like Whore

A Like Whore is a woman who seeks out likes on the internet that are only obtained due to her face and her breasts being exposed in scantily-clad outfits. This is usually done via Facebook in the form of the exact same pose and picture type being taken and posted 30 times. A key feature of a Like Whore is that she does not consider herself a whore or immoral in any way, and says she would never do cam shows or prostitution. Nevertheless, men respect women who do cam shows more than those who are Like Whores due to the honesty and integrity of the cam show whore girls in comparison. If you are going to show off your nearly nude body for male attention constantly, at least be honest about it.

Guy 1: Why does the girl at work show a million different close-ups of her breasts in her Facebook pictures? Did she forget men like those things? Or she’s just checking in on us?
Guy 2: She’s a Like Whore. She should go full throttle and just be honest and move to Dubai and start sucking dick, designing art, and interior decorating.

by Eric Kazinsky May 17, 2016

9-Able

A 9-Able man is a man capable of maintaining long-term relationships with 9/10 women in attractiveness. Top-tier women in their peak years (18-22) most often choose to settle down with 30-35 year old average guys who a) own property b) compliment her a lot and make her feel good c) clearly won't ever have any better option than her d) don't challenge her or make her feel bad and e) is much older than her. 9-10 level women are not very looks-oriented with men, and many of them have already "tasted" the most attractive men and want superior qualities so they usually settle for the beta described above. This is frustrating news for the "alpha males get all the pussy" crowd, but should actually be good news for them: there's no reason to fear these niggardly 30-something betas standing in the way of the hotties.

Guy 1: What’s up with that very average 32-year-old guy with the 9/10 smokin’ hot bwoad with the sweater yams bustin’ out of her cardigan?
Guy 2: Don’t sweat it. That beta is totally 9-Able!

Guy 1: Good point! Don’t forget that alpha males make up less than 5% of the male population, so such a cutey will almost always date betas if only due to the alpha scarcity.

by Eric Kazinsky October 19, 2015

Facebook Potential

Facebook Potential is the amount of potential attention and compliments a woman can get from Facebook. Many women are surprised at first by just how many men will cater to their every whim on Facebook. Once they realize just how pathetic and desperate most men are online, most women under age 35 are delighted to get compliments and likes from this army of beta orbiters every couple of days.

Guy 1: Why do you think women act like men are their sexual servants nowadays and don’t need to do anything in bed?
Guy 2: Even older women in their 40s started acting that way immediately after they realized their true Facebook Potential.

by Eric Kazinsky May 15, 2016

White Person Lottery

White Person Lottery (WPL) is a term used to describe the immense luck a (white) person has when they obtain a large amount of money or property that they never could have earned on their own. In most cases this is through inheritance, but it can also occur through marriage. The term has a very natural sound to it and is used regularly on reddit and other popular internet blogs to describe generally very ungrateful people who are depressed for no obvious reason despite being incredibly lucky to be where they are in life. The natural offshoots of this term are MPL (Mexican Person Lottery), APL (Asian Person Lottery) and BPL (Black Person Lottery).

Guy 1: Why do you think she behaves like that all the time?
Guy 2: Classic example of a White Person Lottery winner. People who have won it have a hard time imagining that others have not won it too.

Guy 1: I feel so lucky to be an American!
Guy 2: You would feel even luckier being a White Person Lottery winner from Iceland with free university and a warm, million dollar house to relax in.

by Eric Kazinsky February 2, 2015

Trickle Down Beta Impact Theory

Trickle Down Beta Impact Theory is the theory that beta males just let their fellow betas get beaten up by other betas and it trickles downwards into a society of 99% beta males. When the trickling occurs, there is no way to stop it. Whereas when an upward alpha male surge occurs, feminists are quick to jump in and shut down the movement. The Trickle Down Beta Impact Theory explains the steady dropping of testosterone rates and increasing feminine male behavior in society.

Guy 1: Did you see that black thug beat up the white guy working at Applebee's while all of the whiteys stood around looking on?
Guy 2: That's what I call the Trickle Down Beta Impact Theory!

by Eric Kazinsky May 11, 2016