C Tan's definitions
Where a bunch of stupid teenagers try to race by singeing off all of their pubic hairs with Tabasco Sauce.
Hey lets have a Tabasco Challenge!
*hisssssss....*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Thank god the Tabasco Challenge renders anyone who participates impotent.
*hisssssss....*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Thank god the Tabasco Challenge renders anyone who participates impotent.
by C Tan October 2, 2007
Get the Tabasco Challengemug. Excellent way to keep virgins from leaving their homes.
It makes sure their useless genome does not contaminate the rest of the world.
It makes sure their useless genome does not contaminate the rest of the world.
I don't think girls care if you got a level 80 Death Knight in World of Warcraft if your still 29 and didn't get laid yet.
by C Tan September 11, 2007
Get the world of warcraftmug. Charter Communications Marketing Plan:
1. Find a former-hick community, say, Sparks, Nevada that is rapidly growing technologically.
2. Buy up all the rights to the cable lines within the new housing complexes in construction, and make those cable lines available only to Charter only.
3. When new owners of a home move in, bombard their mailbox with faster internet service ads.
4. Provide the service, seemingly superior in speed and reliability compared to their nonexistent competitors at first, but then after the first week, totally flips out, and has long downtimes and ignorant customer support reps that love to talk back against angry customers.
5. When customer opts out of the service, remind them that they need to pay a $200+ separation fee because their first month is not up, and not even the first 2 years of their contract.
6. When customer REALLY WANTS OUT, then remind him or her that their ass still belongs to Charter, and theres no other alternative except a slower and still just as unreliable ClearWire Wi-Fi broadband in the neighborhood.
7. When customer threatens to sue, Charter pays electric company to cut off all power, except for a few D-Batteries to power a portable TV connected to a portable VHS player, reminding them that they can stop this by switching back.
8. Don't provide them any service anyways, and bill them $4000 a month in retaliation for their lifetimes. Also armed guards patrol the outside of their doors at all times, with rottweilers bred for the taste of human flesh drooling on the windows.
1. Find a former-hick community, say, Sparks, Nevada that is rapidly growing technologically.
2. Buy up all the rights to the cable lines within the new housing complexes in construction, and make those cable lines available only to Charter only.
3. When new owners of a home move in, bombard their mailbox with faster internet service ads.
4. Provide the service, seemingly superior in speed and reliability compared to their nonexistent competitors at first, but then after the first week, totally flips out, and has long downtimes and ignorant customer support reps that love to talk back against angry customers.
5. When customer opts out of the service, remind them that they need to pay a $200+ separation fee because their first month is not up, and not even the first 2 years of their contract.
6. When customer REALLY WANTS OUT, then remind him or her that their ass still belongs to Charter, and theres no other alternative except a slower and still just as unreliable ClearWire Wi-Fi broadband in the neighborhood.
7. When customer threatens to sue, Charter pays electric company to cut off all power, except for a few D-Batteries to power a portable TV connected to a portable VHS player, reminding them that they can stop this by switching back.
8. Don't provide them any service anyways, and bill them $4000 a month in retaliation for their lifetimes. Also armed guards patrol the outside of their doors at all times, with rottweilers bred for the taste of human flesh drooling on the windows.
by C Tan November 4, 2007
Get the charter communicationsmug. Modern pop culture does not hate it because its "boring", they hate the people who listen to it because it makes themselves feel "smart" and "deep".
Nobody gives a shit on your analysis of how this chord and tone sounds mean and how the conductor's frantic swaying reflects their "soul", "emotional state", and "conclusive dipshittery".
For those who really do love it, I'm not bashing your music, I hold no grudge against true appreciators of your art. However, I do harbor a hate for people who listen to it just to elevate their own egos, or were forced to listen to it by browbeating parents.
Either that, or modern methods of composing music makes the traditional way of making noises by means of carved wood, strings, and hollowed lead pipes appear dinosauric.
Nobody gives a shit on your analysis of how this chord and tone sounds mean and how the conductor's frantic swaying reflects their "soul", "emotional state", and "conclusive dipshittery".
For those who really do love it, I'm not bashing your music, I hold no grudge against true appreciators of your art. However, I do harbor a hate for people who listen to it just to elevate their own egos, or were forced to listen to it by browbeating parents.
Either that, or modern methods of composing music makes the traditional way of making noises by means of carved wood, strings, and hollowed lead pipes appear dinosauric.
Upon posting this definition of "classical music", a ragtag lynch mob composed of angry college professors, browbeaten Asians with violins, and dweeby bookworms has assembled before my home half a second later to have me tarred and feathered.
by C Tan May 9, 2006
Get the Classical Musicmug. A high school credit class where you fork over $95 of your parent’s money to be yelled at by a skinny, balding, half-pint, 40-year old Caucasian loser whose only determination is to subdue every helpless senior student in order to redeem his irretrievable dignity. In order to compensate for years of well-deserved torment in his early years, he dangles the prospect of getting behind the wheel of an automobile to keep his pupils pacified.
Never sass at a driver’s ed instructor, remember, that with a switch of a pen, he can taint your criminal record for all eternity, which determines your prospects of successfully getting a job, bank credit, or college opportunities. No matter whatever he eggs you on with, whether it is inconsistent instructions for your homework, or a detraction of points from your driving record, hold it back. An assault charge is not worth sacrificing saving far more than $95 monthly on your insurance bill.
Never sass at a driver’s ed instructor, remember, that with a switch of a pen, he can taint your criminal record for all eternity, which determines your prospects of successfully getting a job, bank credit, or college opportunities. No matter whatever he eggs you on with, whether it is inconsistent instructions for your homework, or a detraction of points from your driving record, hold it back. An assault charge is not worth sacrificing saving far more than $95 monthly on your insurance bill.
Driver's Ed Teacher: *Snort*, Nyaaah.... now, none of you are doing to make anything of your lives. If you already have a police citation, then you might as well be a ex-con employee slaving away at Wal*Mart because no professional employer with a decent perception of work ethics were to hire you... *snort snort*
I creak the table as clutch my belly holding a hard day's ass gas. He swivels his albino head in an instant shaking his scrawny finger at me...
Driver's Ed Teacher: 2 points off!
I creak the table as clutch my belly holding a hard day's ass gas. He swivels his albino head in an instant shaking his scrawny finger at me...
Driver's Ed Teacher: 2 points off!
by C Tan December 25, 2005
Get the Driver's Edmug. People who WILL rule the world, and WILL become idol figures of society. Why? Because even if they are unskilled dolts, they have something you pimply-faced squibs don't have, charisma.
Charisma is the magnetic attraction that makes populars, popular. You can flaunt your overpriced cheesy college education however you like, but once the popular enters the scene, his sheer dead-sexiness will acquire him that management job, cutting the floor beneath your pasty ass. They are natural leaders, you are not.
If you can't become a popular based on your looks and desirable personality, there's always a faster and more effective way, being a bully. They'll think twice before they cross your line-of-sight again.
Charisma is the magnetic attraction that makes populars, popular. You can flaunt your overpriced cheesy college education however you like, but once the popular enters the scene, his sheer dead-sexiness will acquire him that management job, cutting the floor beneath your pasty ass. They are natural leaders, you are not.
If you can't become a popular based on your looks and desirable personality, there's always a faster and more effective way, being a bully. They'll think twice before they cross your line-of-sight again.
Hot-legged Office Secretary: Well Mr. Wong, everything seems to be in order here.
Socially Inept Geek: And may I inquire you to have a personal appointment with me at the annual Californian Astrocon Cosplay Convention? Wear spandex *wink* *wink*
Hot-legged Office Secretary: Security!
20 Minutes Later, candidate for interview #34 shows up
Ex-high school popular: Duhm, do you have an application?
Hot-legged Office Secretary: How about I invite you into a steamy 30 minute session of casual office sex?
Ex-high school popular: Life has never been so easy! Out of the way nerd!
He kicks the unconcious Socially Inept Geek aside, pushes all of the office items off the desk and closes the door
Socially Inept Geek: And may I inquire you to have a personal appointment with me at the annual Californian Astrocon Cosplay Convention? Wear spandex *wink* *wink*
Hot-legged Office Secretary: Security!
20 Minutes Later, candidate for interview #34 shows up
Ex-high school popular: Duhm, do you have an application?
Hot-legged Office Secretary: How about I invite you into a steamy 30 minute session of casual office sex?
Ex-high school popular: Life has never been so easy! Out of the way nerd!
He kicks the unconcious Socially Inept Geek aside, pushes all of the office items off the desk and closes the door
by C Tan December 28, 2005
Get the popularmug. A bunch of academic quacks who have substantial abilities in faking their exaggerated reasoning abilities, and resent doing "real work" because they consider it "beneath them".
1. They question, or do not believe in the existence of God, because being an atheist makes them feel rebellious, distinctive, and "smart".
2. They sponge up much needed financial aid that would have been better invested in technical fields like engineering or medical research.
3. They are no valuable use to society. Their theory about the "Ambitions of Man" will not stop the emerging SuperAIDS epidemic from wiping out those who can't afford the state-of-the-art prescriptions. Same goes for SARS and the bird flu.
4. They congregate at StarBucks because without a adequate shot of caffeine, which is what their blood is mostly composed of, their heart rate would slow down and they will literally "freeze" to death.
1. They question, or do not believe in the existence of God, because being an atheist makes them feel rebellious, distinctive, and "smart".
2. They sponge up much needed financial aid that would have been better invested in technical fields like engineering or medical research.
3. They are no valuable use to society. Their theory about the "Ambitions of Man" will not stop the emerging SuperAIDS epidemic from wiping out those who can't afford the state-of-the-art prescriptions. Same goes for SARS and the bird flu.
4. They congregate at StarBucks because without a adequate shot of caffeine, which is what their blood is mostly composed of, their heart rate would slow down and they will literally "freeze" to death.
Pseudointellectuals believe in God and his Son's birth only during the Christmas season, so they can upgrade their cell phone plans and state their own independence from "mainstream" society by buying overpriced shirts from the Abercrombie captioned "Fuck Bush".
by C Tan April 18, 2006
Get the pseudointellectualmug.