Alpino's definitions

shartburn

what happens after a shart

loud gurgling greasy fart

Dude, that one's gonna burn. You'd better cleanup quick, or you're gonna get a bad case of shartburn!

tosses him a pack of baby wipes

by Alpino December 15, 2008

Eye-talian

An Italian in Montana, Wyoming, & Texas I suppose.

Do you want Eye-talian dressing on your salad?
No, I want Italian dressing on my salad, after my dinner.

by Alpino October 28, 2020

veranda over the toy shop

slang from Oz... Australia, describing a big belly.

Crickey! he's got quite the veranda over the toy shop.

by Alpino July 28, 2010

General Order Number One

A series of military general orders prohibiting alcohol, war souvenirs, pornography, pets, satellite TV, wireless internet, Blogs, fraternization with opposite sex in war zones. Sort of like WW2s Catch-22. It means you can get in trouble for just about any non-military activity. Thanks Vietnam!

"dude... look at this Hustler, cute kitten, haji pistol, bottle of JD"

"put it away you stupid fuck before we get in more trouble"

"uh, yah General Order Number One, shit!!!"

by Alpino March 29, 2010

retard chimp strong

We all know chimps are much stronger than humans, and retards are much stronger than "normal" humans... can you imagine the strength of a retarded chimp? A new level of "going apeshit"

When the police arrived and tried to cuff him, he got retard chimp strong, kicked the two pepper spraying cops asses, and ran into the night.

by Alpino May 15, 2016

center of the universe

the vagina

men might think they control the world but women possess the center of the universe

by Alpino October 28, 2008

Army

A part of the US military that uses acronyms and knows how to spell, unlike their USMC brothers that think ARMY is an acronym for "ain't ready to be marines yet". When I tried it was ARTBMY. US ARMY actually means "Uncle Sam Ass Raped Me Yesterday"

- Have fought in every war for our nation, not guarded unruly sailors.

- Are capable of thinking, at least the Airborne, SF, Rangers. A very dangerous weapon indeed! The Marines react, which has its place.

- Are not a branch of the Navy

- The ARMY gives awards for "being"

- Wears black berets like Saddam Hussein did

- Gets things done without a cheerleader type PR... you know who does. The ARMY hires shitty advertising agencies.

- Admits to its mistakes

It's a War when the Army gets involved.

by Alpino October 28, 2008