When people obsessively compare themselves to each other to see who is 'the best' or 'the biggest'. It may or may not involve actual penises, but it can. Usually the things being compared are worthless and meaningless things like income, car size, house size, job performance, sports stats, partner attractiveness, and yes, of course, penis sizes.
They're all bragging about how big their cars are versus the other guy's car, they're just engaging in a useless dick measuring contest.
by suburban__dictionary August 21, 2023
A contest in which two people perform fellatio on group of men. The person who is able to ejaculate the greatest amount of men in the alloted time wins. The first known contest was held in Seattle, WA during May 2004.
Zach totally won the 2008 Dick Sucking Contest against Jenna Jameson, he must be one of the worlds best.
by Melanies number 1 fan July 28, 2008
A male competition among well-endowed dudes for the bragging rights of the winner being able to say, with reference to his hard cock, "Mine's bigger."
My nine inch cock easily won the eighth grade dick-measuring contest, winning the admiration and respect of my classmates.
by LoveTorpedo July 14, 2019
A situation, act or struggle between two or more people which one or more parties do not wish to continue because it is stupid, pointless, or inane.
We used to hide each other's keys to make the other late, but it was a total dick touching contest, so I stopped doing it.
by thisispointless0 April 15, 2011
A friendly competition between you and your friends to see who has the best claim to say, "Mine's bigger." Both more reliable in its results and more fun for the competitors where the results are determined, not by the competitors themselves, but by objective female judges.
by adam phillips October 24, 2006
p friendly competition where guys display their pride to answer the question of, "Whose is bigger?" Not only more fair, but more fun, when judged by impartial female referees. especially when they take a "hand's on" approach to the judging.
The time had arrived for me to be judged in the dick measuring contest, a rite of passage for guys entering high school. Louise put her hand on my cock to hold it firm and straight while Jennifer held the ruler stretched out along its full length. As it happened, the number she read off - 9 7/8 inches - was enough for me to win, with a half inch to spare. What I enjoyed more than the thrill of victory, though, was the thrill I felt when Louise, not releasing her grip, slid her hand up and down my shaft, until I came. Nevertheless, I kind of enjoyed the notoriety my victory gave me, especially when suitably ambiguous stories recorded it in the student newspaper and, later that year, in the yearbook. Needless to say, it not only increased the respect I received from the other guys, but my popularity with the girls - apparently, size does count, at least with some girls.
by Charles LeChauve January 6, 2007
Something you try to win if you're the kind of guy that thinks a female would rather have sex with you than cut your dick off. Whether you have 2 or 4 inches of hard dick, or 8 to 10 inches of flaccid dick, if it's laying out in a cornfield in the moonlight, what's the difference? The blood is black either way, and it's no longer attached to the rest of you.
If you ask females, having sex with a female, having sex with nobody, and cutting a guy's dick off would be before having sex with a guy on a list of things to do that day. Perhaps Lorena Bobbitt flipped a coin, heads he keeps his dick, tails his dick goes in the cornfield, and she didn't tell him which way the coin flip went until he woke up the next morning. That would be a way to suprise a guy that put more importance in coming first in the dick measuring contest than anything else in life.
by The Original Agahnim June 30, 2021