188 definitions by 4_u
Sorry for my other post. I don't want that bleeding into this, I look forward to your posts everyday an I don't want to taint that. I just.. I'm sure that picture is her, it meant a LOT that she'd send that, gave me hope and made me feel there was a level of trust between us that I wasn't too sure on
I could be overreacting to nothing an taking it wrong, I just don't want to feel the way I did last week again. I got annoyed earlier that I actually felt happy an it didn't even last 2 fucking days
Anyway.. still not finished writing everything down.. don't know how I'd even start for other accounts.. more than I've found?! How fuckin many?! Can you at least confirm if my hints are right 😂 I got one related to dreams.. one to another number.. 621..
Why did you mention the new posts thing?
Again I didn't express my entire feelings no.. but that's cos I thought I'd scare the hell out of her. Working together I didn't want her to feel awkward because of me.. but Id spoke to her a lot about relationships.. love and when I I still have her a lift often I said about only ever having eyes for 1 girl.. not long after that I told her I had feelings for her
It is a beautiful poem.. it really jumped out at me. I'm still working on yours by the way.. can't get the pronouns down
Pouring it everywhere would work I think.. though personally.. I don't think I'd need help sniffing it out :)
You should definitely try again though.. you know, to really make sure the message is clear..
I could be overreacting to nothing an taking it wrong, I just don't want to feel the way I did last week again. I got annoyed earlier that I actually felt happy an it didn't even last 2 fucking days
Anyway.. still not finished writing everything down.. don't know how I'd even start for other accounts.. more than I've found?! How fuckin many?! Can you at least confirm if my hints are right 😂 I got one related to dreams.. one to another number.. 621..
Why did you mention the new posts thing?
Again I didn't express my entire feelings no.. but that's cos I thought I'd scare the hell out of her. Working together I didn't want her to feel awkward because of me.. but Id spoke to her a lot about relationships.. love and when I I still have her a lift often I said about only ever having eyes for 1 girl.. not long after that I told her I had feelings for her
It is a beautiful poem.. it really jumped out at me. I'm still working on yours by the way.. can't get the pronouns down
Pouring it everywhere would work I think.. though personally.. I don't think I'd need help sniffing it out :)
You should definitely try again though.. you know, to really make sure the message is clear..
I thought you'd like that.. there's no way you can't be a genius really.. my investigative skills are no match for your references.. riddles or the way you play with words
You'd have to be a genius to bring me to my knees :)
You'd have to be a genius to bring me to my knees :)
by 4_u September 25, 2023
That seems a little convoluted.. what's stopping you just talking to him? I don't know.. number trails only seem to have got me hurt. I wish I had some actual clarity
No I didn't know that, wheres that come from by the way? To be honest when I've looked just the vast majority of it is just nonsense
I get your motivational thing, but.. I can be that way, an still just get taken advantage of or let down. I can't continually put that energy out there an never get it back it just drains me. No they're not worth my energy, but I barely interact with anyone as it is, outside of work I am literally alone. And I mean.. literally. I hate it
I don't see how she couldn't know my feelings.. like I said she shut me down.. twice. You don't then spill your heart completely do you or she'd have thought I was fucking crazy
I meant work people.. sorry typo. 1 was her friend, I mentioned I missed talkin to her an she said she didn't want talk to me at all. The other was someone I considered a friend who said to trust him that she wasn't interested.. yeah
The olive juice thing, maybe you should try again. It might not have worked like you expect. Or something else could completely undo what you thought you'd done
I was actually feeling pretty good for like what.. a day an a half.. knew it was too good to be true
No I didn't know that, wheres that come from by the way? To be honest when I've looked just the vast majority of it is just nonsense
I get your motivational thing, but.. I can be that way, an still just get taken advantage of or let down. I can't continually put that energy out there an never get it back it just drains me. No they're not worth my energy, but I barely interact with anyone as it is, outside of work I am literally alone. And I mean.. literally. I hate it
I don't see how she couldn't know my feelings.. like I said she shut me down.. twice. You don't then spill your heart completely do you or she'd have thought I was fucking crazy
I meant work people.. sorry typo. 1 was her friend, I mentioned I missed talkin to her an she said she didn't want talk to me at all. The other was someone I considered a friend who said to trust him that she wasn't interested.. yeah
The olive juice thing, maybe you should try again. It might not have worked like you expect. Or something else could completely undo what you thought you'd done
I was actually feeling pretty good for like what.. a day an a half.. knew it was too good to be true
The account from last week on insta, there was one linked to it, I hadn't spoke to whoever that was but they had 1 of my pics as their profile. Today the account is no longer private an has started posting some other bullshit that makes no sense
I actually felt GOOD for the first time in forever, like I was sure of something. Just feels like a giant game again now. I was sure about the picture, so what the hell could the reason be for more games
So.. YET AGAIN I feel like I'm wrong about things, links I'd made. I'm getting to the conclusion that the only point of this back and forth is to fucking break me completely
The picture is bothering me a lot, that felt really personal.. Now it doesn't. I don't get the way this is being done. I've been open, she must know she can just talk to me, so why not just do it
Ugh.. sorry for my mood I don't know what to do. Or think, again
All that crap last week pushed me to breaking point. I do NOT want that again. I need some fucking real clarity.. answers and I don't have a clue how to get them
I actually felt GOOD for the first time in forever, like I was sure of something. Just feels like a giant game again now. I was sure about the picture, so what the hell could the reason be for more games
So.. YET AGAIN I feel like I'm wrong about things, links I'd made. I'm getting to the conclusion that the only point of this back and forth is to fucking break me completely
The picture is bothering me a lot, that felt really personal.. Now it doesn't. I don't get the way this is being done. I've been open, she must know she can just talk to me, so why not just do it
Ugh.. sorry for my mood I don't know what to do. Or think, again
All that crap last week pushed me to breaking point. I do NOT want that again. I need some fucking real clarity.. answers and I don't have a clue how to get them
by 4_u September 25, 2023
Sorry for the rant in advance.. my other posts will be better I promise!
The sign.. after that idiot the other night, being blocked, remembering that smile.. I don't know where I stand.. just felt like it was on purpose. Wouldn't it make you think awful things if the man you loved was with his ex on a Friday night and it seemed you're being intentionally told about it?
To be clear.. I don't believe that.. I believe in her. But Iv been SO wrong SO many times, I can't trust my own thoughts
Seen that idiot again tonight.. not so brave now
He has no idea.. what he's dealing with
I don't want him in her fucking presence. He doesn't deserve to breathe the same air. I don't like thinking she'll be having a lift home with them either
I know what men are like, it's why I barely have any male friends. The way most men see women is disgusting. He has no right to attempt to speak on her behalf.. and even less to interject into my life when he doesn't know me. He has no idea how lightly he got off the other night. I'm still furious.. that he even thought he could challenge me in ANY way is fucking laughable
I'm old school in many ways. Being a man to me, is honouring your words, having respect for people and expecting it in return. Being a protector, speaking your mind, speaking openly against people's wrong way of thinking. I'm not like other guys, sleeping around, talking about women like they're objects, and the 'banter' to fit in with other similarly minded lowlifes 😡 pathetic
The sign.. after that idiot the other night, being blocked, remembering that smile.. I don't know where I stand.. just felt like it was on purpose. Wouldn't it make you think awful things if the man you loved was with his ex on a Friday night and it seemed you're being intentionally told about it?
To be clear.. I don't believe that.. I believe in her. But Iv been SO wrong SO many times, I can't trust my own thoughts
Seen that idiot again tonight.. not so brave now
He has no idea.. what he's dealing with
I don't want him in her fucking presence. He doesn't deserve to breathe the same air. I don't like thinking she'll be having a lift home with them either
I know what men are like, it's why I barely have any male friends. The way most men see women is disgusting. He has no right to attempt to speak on her behalf.. and even less to interject into my life when he doesn't know me. He has no idea how lightly he got off the other night. I'm still furious.. that he even thought he could challenge me in ANY way is fucking laughable
I'm old school in many ways. Being a man to me, is honouring your words, having respect for people and expecting it in return. Being a protector, speaking your mind, speaking openly against people's wrong way of thinking. I'm not like other guys, sleeping around, talking about women like they're objects, and the 'banter' to fit in with other similarly minded lowlifes 😡 pathetic
I hate it. Those kinda people do not deserve to label themselves as a man, they have never earned it and have no clue how to live up to it
When I love someone.. it's them alone, everyone else might as well be invisible. I don't fuck around, I don't talk to other women, I don't want to
I want the girl I love, to KNOW with absolute certainty, that I'm hers.. that I respect her above all else
My heart is telling me I know her.. her integrity, determination, the depths of that beautiful soul.. my mind sometimes feels like poison, even though the last few days I feel like I've been enlightened a little.. that's still trying to drag me down with thoughts I never want to have again..
It just keeps playing with me.. I do not believe those thoughts.. AT ALL. But it just.. seems be reminding me that my beliefs have failed me before. I'm not sure it'll stop until I actually KNOW.. but I have no idea how I get there
Rant over I promise.. I have smiles to post about now :)
When I love someone.. it's them alone, everyone else might as well be invisible. I don't fuck around, I don't talk to other women, I don't want to
I want the girl I love, to KNOW with absolute certainty, that I'm hers.. that I respect her above all else
My heart is telling me I know her.. her integrity, determination, the depths of that beautiful soul.. my mind sometimes feels like poison, even though the last few days I feel like I've been enlightened a little.. that's still trying to drag me down with thoughts I never want to have again..
It just keeps playing with me.. I do not believe those thoughts.. AT ALL. But it just.. seems be reminding me that my beliefs have failed me before. I'm not sure it'll stop until I actually KNOW.. but I have no idea how I get there
Rant over I promise.. I have smiles to post about now :)
by 4_u October 1, 2023
Missed a few things! How the hell have you not seen star wars?! Ok you need to watch them just for Anakin and Padme's love story at least. You asked if she'd blocked me too, no. Which is just more confusing, not that it matters because I can't message her anyway
I know what you mean, but before there was some chance she knew, or felt something similar. Now though that feels impossible. I may never see her again
Seeing her gave me something, I could feel.. something
Without that.. every day feels like she drifts further away, and I can't do a thing about it
I admire your hope so much, but I just struggle see the future that I want, all I'm relying on is things I could easily just be reading into
I don't know about my heart.. it just builds up till I have to let it out. Honestly I have no control of it, it's completely in her hands. Is it crazy that I still want that?
My cats not a great listener.. he likes to play rough and play fetch though! He's pretty vocal too
I know what you mean, but before there was some chance she knew, or felt something similar. Now though that feels impossible. I may never see her again
Seeing her gave me something, I could feel.. something
Without that.. every day feels like she drifts further away, and I can't do a thing about it
I admire your hope so much, but I just struggle see the future that I want, all I'm relying on is things I could easily just be reading into
I don't know about my heart.. it just builds up till I have to let it out. Honestly I have no control of it, it's completely in her hands. Is it crazy that I still want that?
My cats not a great listener.. he likes to play rough and play fetch though! He's pretty vocal too
That affection should be reserved for humans I'm fine with head bumps and purring from him! But of course I end up with a lunatic.
I love thinking of watching the sunrise with her.. or stood behind with both arms round her, leaning into each other lookin at the stars.
Might sound stupid but everytime I see Sirius now.. I stop and just gaze it. Hoping she might be too
The brightest star in our sky..
And her, the brightest in mine
I'm not sure I understand the camera comment that might have gone over my head haha
I don't think I'm angry.. other than at myself I mean
I have been trying to just let myself feel everything I do about her like you said, I have good moments, more bad still
I just wish I had something that was still reassuring me
Please don't apologise, you don't come across bossy or rude, you're bold and honest. I like that. I like that in her a lot
I love thinking of watching the sunrise with her.. or stood behind with both arms round her, leaning into each other lookin at the stars.
Might sound stupid but everytime I see Sirius now.. I stop and just gaze it. Hoping she might be too
The brightest star in our sky..
And her, the brightest in mine
I'm not sure I understand the camera comment that might have gone over my head haha
I don't think I'm angry.. other than at myself I mean
I have been trying to just let myself feel everything I do about her like you said, I have good moments, more bad still
I just wish I had something that was still reassuring me
Please don't apologise, you don't come across bossy or rude, you're bold and honest. I like that. I like that in her a lot
by 4_u September 9, 2023
Ok.. that isn't a coincidence
Whats the flight you speak of.. I need a new name for these
Being as you haven't watched star wars.. I can't just assume, but you must have seen friends?
"Joker.. is poker.. with a J.. coincidence?"
"Hey thats joincidence with a C"
They're Joincidences from now on 😜
You mention being in his arms a lot.. I've always wanted that too. Did that start just from the hug thing?
Count the olive juice thing as a joincidence too.. I could be wrong of course.. but I swear, more than once I noticed that..
Whats the flight you speak of.. I need a new name for these
Being as you haven't watched star wars.. I can't just assume, but you must have seen friends?
"Joker.. is poker.. with a J.. coincidence?"
"Hey thats joincidence with a C"
They're Joincidences from now on 😜
You mention being in his arms a lot.. I've always wanted that too. Did that start just from the hug thing?
Count the olive juice thing as a joincidence too.. I could be wrong of course.. but I swear, more than once I noticed that..
What I've seen, normally would have sent me into overdrive..
Mentally I'm trying to stay calm.. I've been wrong before
But my heart.. not sure it's ever pounded like this
Mentally I'm trying to stay calm.. I've been wrong before
But my heart.. not sure it's ever pounded like this
by 4_u September 17, 2023
Sorry, I haven't been able to think today. I still can't really now. I don't know how to feel at all. I cannot make sense of the moments I've actually been around her. I just don't get it.
You're so optimistic, I really envy that. But if she'll never see it, why write. That message, was clear, it still hurts now. I can't ignore her.
Something.. is still just not letting go. I should have broke today but I'm still just numb. I've never felt like this. My head is saying it's over. I know she's got my heart though.. and I know it won't let go
Funny.. she's a master of sarcasm as well as a smart arse.. always made me smile.. ugh wish I had that smile now. I wasn't ready for writing about her again to be so difficult.
The one thing I'd love for her to know.. I thought I knew what love was. I didn't, until I met her. I'm not exaggerating this at all.. when she stands close to me.. my breathing deepens.. goosebumps.. my heart slows ever so slightly.. and starts to POUND. I can't think. My body temperature soars.. I loved every second.
She sets my world on fire and all I ever want is more. The time we got was never enough, no amount of time ever could be.
You're so optimistic, I really envy that. But if she'll never see it, why write. That message, was clear, it still hurts now. I can't ignore her.
Something.. is still just not letting go. I should have broke today but I'm still just numb. I've never felt like this. My head is saying it's over. I know she's got my heart though.. and I know it won't let go
Funny.. she's a master of sarcasm as well as a smart arse.. always made me smile.. ugh wish I had that smile now. I wasn't ready for writing about her again to be so difficult.
The one thing I'd love for her to know.. I thought I knew what love was. I didn't, until I met her. I'm not exaggerating this at all.. when she stands close to me.. my breathing deepens.. goosebumps.. my heart slows ever so slightly.. and starts to POUND. I can't think. My body temperature soars.. I loved every second.
She sets my world on fire and all I ever want is more. The time we got was never enough, no amount of time ever could be.
I don't know if I do know what you mean. My head just isn't working, hearts just stuck me on autopilot. I wish I did, I don't know why again, curiousity maybe.. it wouldnt change anything I think.
Can I actually think right now? 🤔 I'm struggling do anything other than think about her. Which hurts more than usual
Can I actually think right now? 🤔 I'm struggling do anything other than think about her. Which hurts more than usual
by 4_u September 1, 2023
I hope you're good :)
Just as I was beginning to think we may not speak again
As if by magic..
Il try order these replies and sorry for my like.. 10 posts!
I am tall yeah, jus about 6'6, another number that follows me, she's tall too, yet another thing I like
I'd still be pretty tall on my knees you know 🤔
And I always say please..
But you said I outdid you..
Soo.. shouldn't I, be teaching you?
Hmm I had sensed the smartass.. juuuuuust a little bit..
You should know though, I'm a kinaesthetic learner.. I need to do. Just being shown or told isn't enough
Just as I was beginning to think we may not speak again
As if by magic..
Il try order these replies and sorry for my like.. 10 posts!
I am tall yeah, jus about 6'6, another number that follows me, she's tall too, yet another thing I like
I'd still be pretty tall on my knees you know 🤔
And I always say please..
But you said I outdid you..
Soo.. shouldn't I, be teaching you?
Hmm I had sensed the smartass.. juuuuuust a little bit..
You should know though, I'm a kinaesthetic learner.. I need to do. Just being shown or told isn't enough
I love that he brings out this creativity in you.. that is so unique.. she's changed so much for me.. though a lot of that depended on me being right about her having feelings for me too so.. the reasoning feels kinda mistaken now.
Either way, she changed my world.
Competition sounds interesting though, sure you're up to the challenge? Though I'm not sure how truly competitive we can be about anything on here!
I won't just let you win either if that's what you're thinking :)
That story.. is it here? I'd LOVE to read that! Why do you think it took so long to get into your niche with writing?
There is an age gap yeah, what made you ask that? She's younger, yet already so much smarter than me.
She didn't send them, we had a playlist for driving.. stuff I'd never listen to until her. But now.. they're some of the most meaningful songs I've ever known.
I still can't listen to some without her, they just break me.
Hopefully the last time I heard them, won't be the last time
Either way, she changed my world.
Competition sounds interesting though, sure you're up to the challenge? Though I'm not sure how truly competitive we can be about anything on here!
I won't just let you win either if that's what you're thinking :)
That story.. is it here? I'd LOVE to read that! Why do you think it took so long to get into your niche with writing?
There is an age gap yeah, what made you ask that? She's younger, yet already so much smarter than me.
She didn't send them, we had a playlist for driving.. stuff I'd never listen to until her. But now.. they're some of the most meaningful songs I've ever known.
I still can't listen to some without her, they just break me.
Hopefully the last time I heard them, won't be the last time
by 4_u September 9, 2023